Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Office Quotes

Warning:  Travis Posting

Inspired by my friend Curtis ("C-Murder"), here are some favorite Office quotes:

1.  Dwight Schrute: A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people. 

2.  Dwight [Reading suggestions for health-care coverage: Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.
  

Kevin Malone: That's a real thing.  

Dwight Schrute: Yeah, but no one here has it.  

Kevin Malone: [quietly] Someone has it.

 3.  Michael Scott: 'Hug it out, b****.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I've found. Doesn't translate.

 4. Michael: I ran down Meredith in my car.

Ryan: Did you do this on purpose?

Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital. She's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be up in--

Ryan: Did this happen on company property?

Michael: Yes. It was on company property with company property, so ... double jeopardy. We're fine.

Ryan: I don't think you understand how double jeopardy works.

Michael: Oh right, I'm sorry. What is, "We're fine?"

 5.  Michael:  I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!


1 comment:

Lori said...

We LOVE The Office!! I laughed out loud reading these classic quotes!! Andrea, it was good to see you yesterday! I am putting your link on our blog, if that is okay!!