Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
1. Dwight Schrute: A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.
2. Dwight [Reading suggestions for health-care coverage: Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.
Kevin Malone: That's a real thing.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, but no one here has it.
Kevin Malone: [quietly] Someone has it.
3. Michael Scott: 'Hug it out, b****.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I've found. Doesn't translate.
4. Michael: I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent. But she's in the hospital. She's fine, recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be up in--
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property with company property, so ... double jeopardy. We're fine.
Ryan: I don't think you understand how double jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh right, I'm sorry. What is, "We're fine?"
5. Michael: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!